【美国名校的自白（恶搞版）/ 上辑】

作为重生一进学院都要做毛遂自荐，那假如是名校要做毛遂自荐他们会怎样说呢！必需是有创意+有本性啊，每一个学院都自信心满满，霸气威武哦！

MIT:麻省理工

Oh Really? You think you’re a math genius? Come here and we’ll crush your ego badly.

哦？你以为本人是个数学天赋？来吧，我们分分钟就把你的自负心冲击得粉破坏了。

Harvard: 哈佛

Come here! You won’t make less than 200k a year if you come here!

Don’t believe the media! We’re not the hottest for rejections! It’s MIT! Don’t apply to MIT. Apply to US! Seriously Just Apply!Even though we only accept 9% of 22,000+, still apply. Just do it! The worst that could happen is a thin envelope in your mailbox. Come on. Just apply so our acceptance rate can go down to 1%

来吧，宝物儿！来这儿包管你年薪不低于20万美刀！

别听媒体瞎扯，我们绝对不是最喜好拒人的学院！最没情面味的是麻省理工！别申麻省理工了。申请我们呀！信赖我，申请就行！虽然22,000多名申请者中我们只登科9%，仍是申请吧。Just do it！顶多邮箱里多出薄薄的一纸拒信。来吧！让申请者来得更狠恶些！如许我们的登科率便可以跌破1%了！

Stanford: 斯坦福

Berkeley who??—I’d look it up but I have a meeting with a venture-capital firm to discuss funding for my freshman science project.

伯克利是甚么玩艺儿？好吧，我会去理解一下的。可是我如今要和一家创业投资公司洽商下我们重生科研项目标融资事件。

Yale: 耶鲁

Come here and follow in the footsteps of George Bush Sr.,Bill Clinton, Hillary Rodham, George Bush Jr., William Howard Taft, GeraldFord, John Kerry, Howard Dean, Joe Lieberman, and Dick Cheney (Though he”flunked”). We’ll show you how to run (or ruin) a country (or other countries).

来这里追随威廉·塔夫脱（美国第27任总统）、老布什（美国第41任总统）、克林顿（美国第42任总统）、小布什（美国第43任总统）的程序吧！我们会报告你怎样去管理（大概是消灭）一个国度（另有其他国度）。

Princeton:普林斯顿

Make sure that at least one essay demonstrates arrogance and you are a shoe-in! Did we mention that we are ranked 1?

请确保最少有一篇申请论文展示出高峻狂妄，那样你就稳进了！等等，我方才有无报告你我们在全美排名是No.1的？