美国名校的自白（恶搞版）下辑

我年夜“忙day”（Monday）终究已往了！持续前次的美国名校自黑系列，年夜家咧着嘴驱逐新的一天吧！一同来看看此次又有哪些名校的独黑呢——

The United States Military Academy

It’s free

上学不差钱

Dartmouth

It’s harder than heck to get in here because we are uh…IVY..But once you are here, you can major in art, throw snowballs for 6 months, ride on sleds, and only have to take three bogus classes. Then when you graduate, all you have to do is say, ” I went to Dartmouth” and people will hire you because…uh… it’s the IVY league.

进我们学院比见鬼还难，由于，呃，我们是常春藤嘛，你懂的。但一旦出去了，你能够修个艺术专业，扔扔雪球打打雪仗6个月就没了，再玩玩雪橇、只需上上三两个有的没的的课程就好了。没错，这就结业了。以后你只需说一声“我达特茅斯结业的”就有人雇你啦，由于，呃，我们是常春藤啊！

Columbia

Did I mention? We only accept 10% of our applicants so if you get denied, MOVE ON! Maybe NYU will take you. That’s where most of our rejects attend.

我没报告你我们的登科率只要10%吗？以是如果被拒了也别泄气，抖擞啊！或许纽约年夜学会收你呢！年夜部门被我们拒掉的人都去那儿了。

UCLA

We’re just as good as Berkeley… Yeah, that’s the ticKET.

我们和伯克利一样好…嗯，是的，就是如许。

Duke

Lots of our students rejected Harvard, Yale,Princeton, and other Ivies to come here. Some of us rejected every single Ivy ever plus all the top publics and also every university in the USNWR top 50.

我们的许多门生都是回绝了哈佛、耶鲁、普林斯顿和其他常春藤名校来我们这儿的。我们另有把常春藤和全美排名前50的年夜学逐个回绝了以后来了这里的呢！